By Thomas Sibanda
After the ukucola ceremony of welcoming the bride to her new home, there are a few more customs and rituals done to establish the bride as a wife and celebrate and establish the union.
The first ceremony is known as umphekiso. This ceremony is done so as to give the newly wedded woman the right to cook for her family and all the inlaws. Before this ceremony, umlobokazi cannot touch the pots or enter the family kitchen.
Umphekiso is done when the mother-in-law gives the daughter-in-law amabele so that she can brew traditional beer. The firewood used by the daughter-in-law to brew the beer is the one she collected with her entourage, before they went back home, after handing her over.
The beer, utshwala, she brews is called umphekiso. This beer can be drunk by anyone in the family. After umphekiso, the bride is now free to cook in the home as assigned by the mother-in-law from time to time.
Ukuphinda imikhondo is the next ceremony. This is when the newly wedded woman visits her home for the first time after the wedding. She goes home with a young girl from her in-laws. This young girl only talks and eats upon being given gifts by her sister-in-law’s family.
Early morning after arrival, the woman’s hair is cut by her family members. It is forbidden for the bride’s first haircut after marriage to be done by her in-laws. Little hair is left in the middle of the head known as isi/i/cholo, which is a sign that she is now married.
After that, she goes back to her in-laws. The next significant ceremony is known as ukukhutshwa emasekweni. This is done to free the bride to cook for herself privately. This is done between a year and 3 years after marriage.
The mother-in-law will send the bride on a long trip. Whilst she is away, the mother-in-law will make a fire in front of her daughter-in-law’s hut and cook inkobe. When she comes back and finds that fire with inkobe, she will know what it means and not say anything.
When inkobe is ready, the mother-in-law will call her and ask her to bring the plates from her kitchen. As she dishes inkobe she will show her the different plates and to whom they belong.
However, a good daughter-in-law would likely refuse to cook alone and continue to cook with the mother-in-law as a sign of loyalty and respect for her. She would claim that she is not a good cook and wants to continue learning how to cook well under supervision and guidance.
The other ceremony is known as umtshisanyongo. This beer is brewed by the bride’s maid /usonyongwana. Her family burns the gallbladders that she had adorned during the wedding. The beer derives its name from this. Meat and other delicacies are prepared for this gathering.
